‘Felix, this is your mother speaking.’
I was like, ‘Oh shit.’ My brain went into total hyperdrive. ‘Err…oh…hi mum.’
‘Felix, I have spoken to Dora today and she says she still can’t get you on the home phone. I hope there’s no problem?’
‘No, no, I was out and about this afternoon…’
‘Very well…anyway she phoned to say that Mrs Pretzel would like you to start work again in two days.’
‘Uh…yes…’ Cheng’s cousin looked at me. I opened the door and got out of the car, keeping my head down and talking quietly into the phone, ‘Is she sure? Is Vespasian OK?’
I stepped away from the car a little, carefully avoiding a small pile of desiccated dogshit just by my feet. As I did I heard a small but insistent metallic click. I looked up; directly in front of the car was a Chinese guy dressed in a black suit and an oversized black leather jacket, pointing a handgun at me.
‘Felix?’ the thin, electronic sound of mother’s voice was so distorted she sounded like she were trapped in a tin bucket at the bottom of a deep well. My arm froze. Two thoughts flashed into my head:
- should I tell my mum about the guy with the gun? and
- I’m going to die a virgin.
