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Q &
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1. You have been writing fiction and poetry for several years,
what made you decide that this was the right time to write your
autobiography?
I'm not sure I did. Partly because I don't quite think of A
Lie About My Father as a work of autobiography, and partly because
I don't really decide to do anything, when it comes to writing.
I start to think around rather than about something, then I start
building a sense, or a sensation, of something else, some vague
form that appears to have a mysterious shape and colour of its own
and, before I know it, I've started working seriously on a project
I can name. But it's not so considered or deliberate as 'decide'
suggests. I do admire those writers who seem to take the pulse of
the moment and come out with something that's bound to sell and
be noticed. But that's not how I work. For me, it seems, there has
to be an element of pathology about it.
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2. In writing A Lie About My Father, do you feel that
you have come to understand your father better?
Almost the contrary: I think I came to see him as more of a mystery,
and that allowed me to respect him more. There's a certain brand
of respect that's largely based on accepting the mystery of others,
by which I mean accepting that there is something about everyone
that is beyond understanding, and so beyond admiring, or blaming,
or being angry with. Let's be perverse and call this the soul. For
a long time, I dismissed the notion that my father might have soul
as entirely unlikely.
I do think I came to understand myself a little better, though.
And I think I forgave us both a little, which is good.
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3. How have your family reacted to the book? What do you think
your father would have said if he'd had the chance to read your
work?
I haven't talked to my family about the book. I don't like to go
back over a book once it's written. By the time I finish with one
thing, I'm already starting to think around or about the next one.
I'm sadly obsessive in this respect.
I don't think my father would have read the book, had he been alive.
He'd probably have planned to, but he wouldn't have got round to
it.
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4. In the preface to A Lie About My Father, you say that
it should be treated as a work of fiction. Why do you think so?
Well, the most obvious thing to say here is that my story was bound
to be partial, in both senses of the word. I didn't have all, or
most, of the facts about my father, and I could barely remember
some of the things that happened to me during my worst period, the
period when, as the book says, I was 'falling'. Meanwhile, I was
conscious of making a story, of telling a story that was uniquely
my own, and while I didn't consciously lie about anything important
(I was obliged to change a few names and details, to protect the
innocent and, in some cases, the dead), I always had a sense of
what I was doing as artifice. Of course, I'm not alone in this,
but I wanted, in my usual obsessive way, to be sure that I didn't
mislead anyone.
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5. On many occasions in A Lie
About My Father, it looks like you are destined to fall, never
to recover. What saved you, did your writing help?
Any talk about what saved me presumes that I have been saved. At
the worst point, during that somewhat colourful fall, I felt myself
being saved, by degrees, on a pretty regular basis, by anything
from a piece of music at the right moment to the utterly amazing
generosity of some of the friends I was lucky enough to have around
me from time to time. If anything keeps me steady now - I still
have some rather vertiginous days, and some even giddier nights
- it's my children. A fairly unoriginal answer, but the truth. If
I had to sum it up, I'd say that, overall, I have been lucky in
my loves.
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6. How did you first come to be a writer?
Rather reluctantly, I think. I wrote some dreadful poems as a student,
not for any good reason, I think, but mostly as a pose. After that,
I composed a few piano pieces, (awful), tried my hand at painting,
(execrable) then, unable to live on the wages I was earning as a
gardener, went into the computer business. I really started writing
there, to keep myself sane. I have been in some odd places, including
a few madcap mental health facilities, but I've never found anywhere
so unhealthy as the office where I worked for the last few years
of my computing 'career'. If I hadn't had the mild eccentricity
of poetry to keep me going then, I would have gone genuinely insane.
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7. Which medium do you prefer to write in - poetry or prose?
I love both. They are difficult in different ways, but the rewards
are the same in both cases.
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8. Who or what are your biggest influences?
Too many to mention. I think it's a sign of good health to be open
to any influence, no matter how out of the way. In the past, when
I've been asked this question, I've mostly cited the writers I like
- yet it's not always the work we most love that provides the shaping
influence at any particular stage in this long discipline. It's
not even the case that poetry influences my poems, or prose my stories
or novels - and sometimes the most ordinary 50s movie will be the
catalyst for something that, in the end, has no relation whatsoever
to it, in subject matter or mood. The one thing that does seem vital
to me is that a writer's art is founded upon his or her reading
- especially of the dead. We could say that the world - the given
world into which we imagine ourselves moment by moment - provides
each writer with a distinct vision, or world view, but it is the
community of writers, alive and dead, that teaches us the craft.
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Other
Interviews
Chloe Hooper for A Child's
Book of True Crime
Bo Caldwell for The Distant
Land of My Father
Carol Goodman for The Lake
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Mary Lawson for Crow Lake
Mark Haddon for The
Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Karin Slaughter for Kisscut
and Blindsighted
Sebastian Faulks for Birdsong
Elizabeth Bergs for True
to Form
Anne Tylers for The Amateur
Marriage
Rose Tremain for The Colour
Alice Hoffman for Blackbird
House
Jane Juska for A Round-Heeled
Woman
Ian McEwan for Enduring
Love
Audrey Niffenegger for The
Time Traveler's Wife
Deborah Moggach for These
Foolish Things
Lindsey Davis for Scandal
Takes a Holiday
Deborah Lawrenson for The
Art of Falling
A. L. Kennedy for Paradise
Arthur Golden for Memoirs
of a Geisha
Margaret Forster for Is
There Anything You Want?
Diana Evans for 26a
Chuck Palahniuk for Haunted
Douglas Kennedy for State
of the Union
Julian Barnes for Arthur
& George
Kit Whitfield for Bareback
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