A classic Cook sketch which Peter continued to reprise and adapt
for the rest of his career. He first performed it at a Pembroke
College revue in 1959, and subsequently hired it out to Kenneth
Williams for Williams' West End revue, One Over The Eight, in 1961.
A later version is on Best Of The Balls, Laughing Stock's compilation
of Secret Policemen's Balls, those fund raising performances for
Amnesty International, where it was one of the highlights of the
first Secret 
Policeman's
Ball, in 1979. That time, John Cleese played Peter's foil, taking
the place of Peter Bellwood, for whom Cook played the part of best
man, at Bellwood's wedding.
PETER COOK: Good evening.
PETER BELLWOOD: Oh, good evening.
PETER COOK: I'm extremely interested in all facets of human life,
including you. Tell me you are a mariner.
PETER BELLWOOD: No, I'm afraid I'm not. I'm an architect.
PETER COOK: Oh, I see. I only mentioned that you might be a mariner
so that I could lead the conversation round to an interesting fact
I've accumulated. It pertains to the cod fish. That's an ocean-dwelling
creature.
PETER BELLWOOD: Yes, I've heard of the cod.
PETER COOK: Yes, it's quite an interesting fact, that. The codfish
relies almost solely for protection on blending with the natural
seaweeds amongst which it lives.
PETER BELLWOOD: Goodness me.
PETER COOK: It is its sole protection, whereas the sole relies almost
entirely on hanging about behind shoals of cod. That's quite an
interesting fact, isn't it?
PETER BELLWOOD: Yes. Yes, it is.
PETER COOK: But not as interesting in my opinion as another fact
I've come across.
PETER BELLWOOD: Oh?
PETER COOK: It's about the eagle. It's quite interesting that the
eagle has an estimated wingspan of eighteen feet, whereas its two
feet span three feet, which is double the length of its tail feather
and over four times the width of its beak alone. That's quite an
interesting statistic, isn't it?
PETER BELLWOOD: Fancy that - the eagle. I never knew.
PETER COOK: I doubt if the eagle does either. It's quite interesting
to think that if all the Chinamen in the world linked hands they'd
girdle the earth three times.
PETER BELLWOOD: Three time, eh? That's amazing.
PETER COOK: I wouldn't call it amazing. I'm not amazed by it. I
just take an intelligent interest in it. Of course, I've not bothered
to check up at all. I've just taken it on trust. I've not got time
to go round organising Chinamen to link their hands, and the practical
difficulties are immense. You'd have to have rafts over the sea.
Anyway, I shouldn't think they'd agree to do it. But it's quite
interesting as a fact.
PETER BELLWOOD: Yes. Yes, I suppose it is.
PETER COOK: The grasshopper is an interesting creature. It has a
disproportionate leaping ability. It's the powerful hind legs that
cause it. You can seem them hopping over grassy terrain. That's
why it's called a grasshopper. But it is its leaping ability that
interests me. Do you know that if the giraffe had the same leaping
ability, pound for pound, he'd be able to jump onto the moon and
Britain would be first in the space race?
PETER BELLWOOD: Yes, well I'm trying to read this article.
PETER COOK: I'm very interested in the grasshopper and its leaping
ability. I haven't got an unhealthy interest in it, mind
you. I'm not obsessed by it. I haven't got an unhealthy sexual interest
in the grasshopper. At least I've never had any sexual activity
with a grasshopper. Or if I have, nobody saw me. And if they did
see me it's their look out.
PETER BELLWOOD: Well, thank you very much, but I think I've heard
enough of your interesting facts.
PETER COOK: Heard enough?
PETER BELLWOOD: Yes. I must confess to being a trifle bored by some
of them.
PETER COOK: Bored? That's rather interesting.
